Meet the Children of the House of Flowers

No generalizations can be drawn about human beings, their personalities or their inner nature. Each has his/her own mix of interactions between the inner and outer worlds. With children, beauty comes in seeing this interaction unfold.

Click on the names below to read the detailed stories of a few of the children of the House of Flowers. Their pictures show how they have grown over the years.

•     Ramin, 9 years old, 3 years at the House of Flowers (HoF)

•     Rayhan, 8 years old, 1 year at HoF

•     Ruhullah, 7 years old, 3 years at HoF

•     Shukria, 6 years old, 3 ½ years at HoF

•     Shahin Shah,  7 years old, 3 ½ years at HoF

•     Nadia 11 years old, 3 ½ years at HoF

•     Faroogh, 9 years old, 3 years at HoF

•     Razia,  13 years old, 3 ½ years at HoF

•     The 20 other children of the House of Flowers

Ramin

When Ramin joined the House of Flowers in early 2004, he was underweight, suffering from worms, and from teeth so painful he could not eat. He cried frequently and was depressed, even being only 6 years old.

After being treated for worms, having his bad teeth extracted, taking vitamins for several weeks, and receiving lots of attention, Ramin began to emerge from his sadness. His personality began to appear, and we came to know Ramin as a very meticulous, serious boy who ate slowly and neatly, and who danced with a restrained joy. For some time he became a hypochondriac until the House staff signed a ‘contract’ with him that he wouldn’t get sick. But that led to his nickname of “Doctor Sahib”, which he answers to in a pleased way. He is sensitive to teasing, and used to cry easily, but has become much stronger over the years and now shares a quiet sense of humor with us.

His inherently meticulous and serious nature made him the obvious choice for his recent ‘appointment’ as the first co-manager of the House of Flowers National Bank, where he takes his accounting duties very seriously. He is a somber boy who seems like he is age 8 going on 50, but also has a charming bubbly laugh. Ramin also enjoys exploring poetry and has a special love for Sufi music, which makes him close his eyes and sway slowly…

Rayhan

Rayhan and her brother Rumal came to the House of Flowers just over a year ago. Both were pale, very thin, and had dark circles under their eyes. Their heads were shaved, and it took some time before we realized that Rayhan was in fact a girl. The children were nearly unresponsive and seemed dull and unemotional. They obviously suffered from chronic malnutrition, causing stunting of their growth, and very low energy. We thought Rayhan was maybe 6 years old, but after some months we realized that Rayhan must be closer to 8, as she had lost many of her baby teeth already. Her malnutrition had led to being undersized for her age.

Rayhan was extremely sensitive, and if she was looked at or talked to sternly, she would immediately begin to cry. She rarely smiled, and hid her face by turning away when addressed directly. She stayed very thin and pale for many weeks. Very slowly, however, Rayhan began to open up, at about the same rate that her hair began to grow back. She began working harder in class to learn to read and write and didn’t cry quite as easily. She began to proudly wear a scarf like the other girls, and we heard her giggly laugh more and more often.

A year later, Rayhan can now tie her hair in a cute hairband. She has gotten a little bit taller, and has gained weight and color. She has learned to read and is very proud of her new skills. She no longer cries, and has in fact become quite a scrappy little girl who now sometimes gets in trouble for pinching and teasing other girls – it is a wonderful behavior ‘problem’ to see, such energy and activity from child who was initially so listless and withdrawn. 

Ruhullah

Ruhullah was 4 years old when he came to the House of Flowers, having seen his father collapse and die in a taxi. For several months, Ruhullah would repeatedly tell the story of what he saw when his father died, but as time passed, he spoke of it less and less. Initially he was quite a rough and surprisingly strong boy who liked to tackle anyone sitting on the floor, and he would hug adults almost violently.

His nasally voice and perpetual runny nose was a frequent source of jokes in the house, which he took very good-naturedly, smiling shyly and wandering away to go blow his nose again. As Ruhullah grew, his physical strength extended to his heart; he has become a very affectionate boy who still loves hugs, and he holds hands a little more gently now.

His cheerful good nature makes him a happy playmate with his peers. He is always one of the first to dance to music, and he has a balanced and energetic personality. It has been a joy to see Ruhullah grow into the mature and lively young seven year old that he is now.  

Shukria 

Shukria has always held a very special place at the House of Flowers and for the first two years was the youngest in the House. She and her two older sisters, Nadia and Razia, were the first children of the House of Flowers. They and their father had been living in the ruins of a bombed-out house in Kabul after her mother had died of heart disease just 3 months earlier. Little Shukria was not even 3 years old and would not talk. But suddenly one day as we were leaving the House, from the window we heard her small voice bidding us good-bye! 

From that day on, Shukria became the darling of the House of Flowers. She charmed all who visited, as well as the staff. She amazed the teachers as she began to write and read by age 4, and was obviously extremely gifted, if not a protégé. Her sharp mind picked up ideas and new concepts frighteningly fast; she began learning the Arabic of the Koran, learned Pushto, a second language, and often taught her older classmates new topics they were studying. By the time she was 5 she could read the newspaper fluently and with comprehension.

This intellectual prowess, as often happens, seemed to cause some emotional difficulties, which were also compounded by her loss of a mother, no doubt. Shukria didn’t fit in with her age peers, nor with the older children. She had trouble getting along with the other children and for several months had trouble controlling her behavior.

Fortunately, as we hoped would happen, she gradually outgrew this phase and began to mature rapidly, both looking and acting much older and having an easier time with her peers. While she can still be a challenging child, Shukria is a sweet and talented girl who desperately loves attention, and showers kisses on women visitors.

We continue to be amazed at the sharpness of her mind. Now Shukria is about 6 years old, but is easily studying at grade 3. In the meantime we are trying to help her emotional development keep pace with her great mental abilities. She has immense potential, and has made life at the House of Flowers richer for all; we are thoroughly enjoying watching her grow in so many ways.

Shahin Shah

Shahin Shah and his brother Zaher Shah, both named for past kings of Afghanistan, have been at the House of Flowers nearly since its inception, arriving at the House in December of 2003. Their father had been killed the year before. Shahin Shah was barely 4 years old when we met him; he had a serious yet beautiful and cherubic face. He rarely spoke and rarely played with others, preferring to play with toy cars while standing alone by the window. We often worried about Shahin Shah, as he seemed withdrawn and isolated. He had a very strong, yet quiet and reserved, character.

Once Shahin decided to slowly join the others and began to sit for lessons, it became evident that he was a very sharp little boy who learned extremely quickly – but was very quiet. Despite his quietness, his serious eyes and very sweet smile attracted the attention of every visitor to the house, and somehow he had a strong charisma for a very small boy who rarely spoke.

He slowly began to grow, and around age 5 he went through a phase of suddenly talking at great length, telling long, detailed and articulate stories. He became more cheerful and could be seen running from room to room, playing with stuffed animals. But what Shahin is famous for in the House is his deep love for nature. In particular, Shahin loves butterflies, ants and flowers. He kisses the pictures of butterflies in books, gently picks up ants and holds them in his hand, and treasures small flowers that he finds on the ground, sitting quietly and holding them tenderly.

Now Shahin is 7 years old; he goes to school with the others and excels at all intellectual activities. He is very skilled at drawing and coloring; his skills and personality remind one of a potential artist or architect. He is still reserved, but is very observant and insightful and cheerful. It is not hard to imagine Shahin as an adult; he will be one of those calm and thoughtful individuals whom people gravitate to for reasons they don’t quite even know themselves.

Nadia

When Nadia and her two sisters, Shukria and Razia, came to the House of Flowers, Nadia was a very rough 8 year old girl who always seemed to yell. Her father said she was dumb and couldn’t learn anything.

But he couldn’t have been more wrong. With positive attention from our teachers and staff, Nadia began to thrive almost immediately. It became evident that she had a very perceptive mind. While she did well in academics, what was always impressive was her strong character coupled with her ability to grasp new concepts. She was a natural teacher who loved to help the younger children and did it in a very mature and confident way.

We have seen Nadia mature into a sophisticated and capable 11 year old who takes great pride in doing well whether it is on a test in school or painting a picture. She never complains, is dependable and is a great help around the house. She is a strong natural leader with character and charisma, and the other children respect her greatly. Her energy and actions are very positive and she glows with potential and promise; her enthusiasm for life is contagious. While she says she wants to be a teacher, there is no doubt that she will be very successful at whatever she undertakes.

Faroogh

Faroogh joined the House of Flowers as a 6 year old, 3 years ago, brought to us by our cook at the time. He was a cheerful boy who, not surprisingly, loved to play. He was not interested much in schoolwork, but soon we realized that that was because he seemed to have learning difficulties. Faroogh has always struggled with academics, and learns very slowly. But he does not give up, and continues to try. Over the years we have seen improvement in his skills, and he can now read and write well.

But rather than emphasize the academic side of things, we have stressed the importance of development of character and innate talents. Faroogh is one of those children who is good with his hands and prefers physical tasks. He is very athletic and excels at sports and physical activities.

His personality has matured from a somewhat hyperactive little boy into a calmer, more focused person. He has a pleasant and positive personality, contributes to class discussions and enjoys helping the little children. We will continue to help him discover those things in life that resonate with his talents and his personality, as he becomes a strong and responsible young man.

Razia

Razia is one of those children without whom we cannot imagine the House of Flowers. She and her sisters Nadia and Shukria were the first children to come to the House of Flowers. Razia, being the oldest at age 9 ½ already had taken great family responsibilities, having to quit school after 1^st grade in order to care for her younger sisters and for her father as well upon the death of their mother. She could cook, make tea, and do laundry. But it was very clear when she arrived that while she never complained, she had an almost desperate craving to learn.

One of the most rewarding sights for us was realizing that Razia could return to being a child once she was being cared for in the House of Flowers. While she still helped with her sisters and the housework, she was no longer alone in these duties, and she now had time to play.

Driven by her great desire to learn, within 3 months of living in the House, Razia was literate. She soon became the source of help for all other children in the house when they didn’t know how to read or spell a word. She patiently helped all, and continued to learn at an amazing rate. When the government school opened that spring, Razia was ready and passed the test to enter at grade 2, after only those 3 months of study. She was desperate to catch up with her age peers, begin 10 years old by then.  The next year, Razia again skipped a grade and entered 4^th grade. This year (2006) the government stopped giving permission to skip grades, and Razia is now studying in 5^th grade, receiving top grades in her class.

Razia continues to be an excellent student as well as a vital ‘older sister’ to all the children of the House. As she reaches her teens, growing taller entering a different phase of her life, she sometimes struggles with the universal issues of adolescence. The restrictive social mores of Afghanistan mean that she can have no contact with boys, and her only contact with her age peers is at her school. But she is peaceful and uncomplaining. Her time is spent at the House of Flowers where she has become a gifted calligrapher and artist and has many ‘administrative’ responsibilities in the House that relate to the other children, such as acting as ‘librarian’ and helping run the House of Flowers National Bank.

Most recently, Razia has been ‘hired’ as a teacher’s assistant, earning a small wage while helping the smallest children with their lessons. She is an extremely caring young girl and teaches patiently and lovingly, and the openness of the Montessori method comes naturally to her, since that was how she herself learned. We are watching Razia carefully, supporting her as she matures, as she is the model of what Afghanistan’s women can become.

The rest of the children of the House of Flowers...

Noorullah

Obaid

Rumal (in beige) and Amrullah

Zaher Shah

Zahra

Zaki

Nageena

Waliullah (in center)